Edwin Saxton–The Poeming Genius
Poeming is for life. And pretentious cunts! And weirdos. I'm a bit of everything…
Chorley:
What a shithole!
Teeth and hemorrhoids,
Were all Agnes had,
To show for her,
Barbarism.
Ha–Barbaraism!
Suck a fart out of my arse.
Dick in dick action.
Duck on duck violence.
Fucking Chorley though.
Inbreeding;
Practically law there, innit?
Gimp!
Can I borrow,
Your sock?
Breast implants,
Are all the rage.
What about knowledge?
Retrospect,
Could be their salvation.
Or maybe,
Just a good, hard cock.
A vision in pistachio.
You really are,
A fat, horrible nonce,
Gavin!
I beseech thee:
Open doors,
And open legs.
Reeks o’ dead sheep,
Up in this bitch.
A top hat,
For Top Cat;
A cow pat,
At the laundromat.
Spunk inside her cunt,
Even though,
She said not to.
Who cares,
What she says?
Women aren’t important.
NNNNNNORRIS!
West of Bald Knob,
And Gobblers Knob,
Dick Scratcher,
Laid a wreath,
In honour of,
Hitler.
Kevin Hitler.
Good old Kev Hitler.
And Dennis Mussolini.
Kiddie fiddler.
Onto the next.
An episode of The Waltons.
Vaginal discharge,
Felt normal,
To Francis.
Whatever became of you,
Dear little trumpling?
The breeze carried you away,
And never did you return.
Steve has gout,
Gout, gout, gout.
HAHAHAHA!
Bisto.
She rammed her dick,
Straight up his tooter.
Mustard gas,
And dirty faggots.
Paki.
Okapi.
Through the golden arches,
Upon your chariot made of carrot.
Bald bastard.
Speccy four-eyes.
Over yonder,
In a place called Slippyminge.
Duckworth.
Of all the daft things,
Teresa could’ve said,
She opted for ‘griggly’.
Lift, loft, luft.
Pift, poft, puft.
Hahaha-haha.
Ha-ha-haha-ha.
Hahahahahaaaaaa-ha.
Put the bucket,
In your fanny.
You like it there.
Trollop.
Whooooooosh!
Nazis are cool.
I like them.
Al Qaeda,
Are alright too.
Not IRA though.
I don’t like whiskey.
A fistful of foreskin.
Pubic combover.
When it’s all over,
You wish for fish.
Droopy knockers;
Like spaniels ears.
Suddenly…
Grab a granny;
Grab her quick.
Take out her dentures;
Put in your dick.
Judge me all you like;
You’re the one,
Who’s had it,
Up the bum.
Skank!
Grab a granny;
Grab her soon.
Pull down her bloomers;
Eat her wrinkled pun.
All high and mighty,
But which of us,
Has choked on cock,
Before today?
Trollop!
Grab a granny;
Grab her now!
Milk her droopy tits,
Like udders on a cow.
And while we’re at it,
I bet your twat,
Reeks of mackerel.
You’re disgusting!
Fuck off!
A trip to Pompeii.
By tooth or claw;
A sombre mantra,
So often seen,
In days of doubt.
If you cared a jot,
You wouldn’t go.
Uncle John.
“Go forth”, say I!
Choke on a knob;
Corn on the cob.
Cup your ball;
You only have one.
Whatever should I do?
They stole my tin.
Now she asks why.
What do I tell her, bro?
Fu Manchu.
Yeah, thanks. Wanker!
Mock the spastic;
You know you will.
Spread the piccalilli,
On your chalot.
Colin!
Bastard!
Get your fingers,
Out of your tooter.
Can I borrow,
Your sock, sock, sock,
Sock, sock, sock, sock,
SOCK!!!
Undoubtedly,
This was Eggbert’s,
Finest hour.
That was until,
Little Tommy Two-Shits,
Rocked up.
As we know,
Little Tommy Two-Shits,
Is better than you.
If you’ve been for one shit,
He’s been for two.
Drink from your poisoned chalice,
Foolish boy!
Ignore the burn,
As it slips into your stomach.
The pain,
That shall follow,
Will be worth,
The moment of bliss!
From one nonce,
To another:
I like little boys’ bottoms.
Justin Fletcher,
And Blippi.
Arsenic.
Haha—domestic abuse.
Get ready fer this,
Yer sucker!
Skint twits,
Giant nits,
Droopy clits,
And saggy tits.
Hairy balls,
Graffiti’d walls,
Booty calls,
And Eyeball Pauls.
Drop the needle,
On the wax.
Spin that shit;
Kick back, relax.
Back in time,
Is where we go;
To times of yore;
To times we know.
In walks a slut;
Her legs are shut.
No offence, but,
Where do I nut?
Open ’em wide;
Welcome me inside.
She can’t hide,
Although she tried.
All I want,
Is a damned good shag.
No nice girls thanks;
I just want slags.
Skanky harpies,
Are where my hat lays.
You can save the sweet ones,
For the fucking gays!
Wisdom of elders,
And we’ll ignore,
Their dementia.
Stupid, owd bedshitters!
Show me your cunt.
If you aren’t a slut,
You can piss off!
Slappers and slags,
Need only apply.
Bounce on my,
Ginger bollocks.
Leave it out, Baz.
It ain’t worth it.
Plus, he has leprosy.
Finish your pint,
Then we’ll move on.
AWOL.
A Way of Life.
Up the Khaiber.
Up yer Ronson.
The monkey’s chuff.
Colinflower.
Just do it.
Stop making excuses,
And slice them.
The police won’t,
Find out.
If they do,
We’ll shank the twats!
Over to you,
In the studio…
If I eat,
A bacon sandwich,
Is it antisemitic?
To the man,
Who calls himself,
Manager:
I hope you get,
Poked in the eye,
With a katana!
Diocese!
A proletarian view,
Wasted on the ideal,
Of first come,
First served.
Elastomer agrees.
Wheat and piss.
Hitler was great.
A lovely man.
Better than Jesus anyway.
Touch the arse.
Does it smell?
You wanker!
All I ever dreamed of,
Was holding a,
Dead puppy,
But it was alive.
Thesaurus Rex.
Bees are abuzz,
With fluffy wonder;
Drones drone,
All alone.
Onto the next,
I suppose.
Edwin Saxton–The Poeming Genius 