Touch her shoulder,
And draw her near.
A deep, deep breath;
The scent of her hair,
Will linger in your senses.
An enduring memory.

Off to Staples,
To buy some printer paper.
What do you mean,
It’s shut down?
I have photos of,
(Sexy kids),
My dead wife to print out!
UGH!!!!!!
Dickhead!

And now,
Ladies and gentlemen,
A rhyme:
Big, hairy bum,
And a bucketful of cum.

It’s the final wipedown.
Why has nobody,
In the history of cinema,
Made a horror movie,
Called The Scarecase?
A movie,
About a scary staircase?
There’s one for you,
To chew over.

Pißflaps.

All the best,
For the rest,
Of course I,
Will do you.
Predictive text there 😃👍🏻

Ow ow;
Ow-ow, ow ow;
Ow-ow, ow ow;
Ow-ow—
Techno, techno, techno, techno,
Prisoners!

Big fuckin’ tits, boyo!

Panda shit,
Forced Muhammad’s hand,
Down the knickers,
Of the minor.
Shocker!

Wakey, wakey,
Eggs & Baker.
Bucks Fizz.
Making Your Mind Up.
Eurovision Song Contest.
Urethra.

Brick the toilet wall.
I’m sorry,
I’m a twat,
Ten times.

There’s no limit!

George of the Jungle,
Visited Cairo,
And got his balls,
Caught on a fence spike.

Tooting & Mitcham.
Erith & Belvedere.
Hampton & Richmond.
Havant & Waterlooville.
Lambert & Butler.
Richard & Judy.
Tits & Arse.
Piss off!

A dog,
Licks peanut butter,
Off my dickhead.
I spaff,
In its mouth.
10/10.
Would recommend.

The Queen is dead;
Long live the spastic.

In the arse,
Out of the nose.
A shit smear deposited,
On your left nostril.
Lick it off.
Mmmmmmmmmm…
Ecoli!

Covid.
Did you get jabbed?
Well,
Aren’t you a retard?

Bollock hair.

Bilschuffëndyke!

A horse’s bollock;
Trembling titty.
Get in the sea!

Gangrene,
Of the left cunt lip.

Knob custard,
And man fat.
Brick the toilet wall,
With the farts,
Of an imam.
Piss inside her muff,
And suck,
Her dad’s helmet.
You dirty nonce!

Fap to this:
A kitten,
With its throat slit.
Who’s the weirdo now?

All I did,
Was eat a lime wedge.
Is that really,
Truly,
Honestly,
A sackable offence?

Sack.