Pugh, Pugh,
Barney, McGrew,
Cuthbert, Dibble,
Grobbelaar.

Weasels! Weasels!
Ferrets and weasels!
And a stoat,
Just cos!

Wanker!

Hairy legs,
And a piece of shit.
Rub your slit,
Just a little bit.

Limp biscuit,
Rich tea.
Twat in the hat,
Rebel treble.
Pat Butcher.

Pat Roach.
Noriyuki ‘Pat’ Morita.
Pat Sharpe.
The guy who,
Puts the fun,
Into Fun House.
Mullet.

Cowpat!

Drawn out silence;
A deep breath;
Clive let’s her rip:
The dirtiest,
Loudest fart,
You ever did hear.
Unfortunately,
For Clive,
he sharted.
Squelchy shit,
Now lined his Y-fronts.
Serves you right, Clive.
Clever dick!

Close the window!
You’re lettin’ all the stank out!

A beautiful, bright beacon,
Venus shines brightly.
The goddess,
Who’s name she acquired,
Weeps tears of joy…
Then proceeds to eat,
Non-halal meat.

Fucks given:
One.
In your dad’s arsehole!

Ha!

Baghdad.
Cherry tree in bloom.
Where once fell,
A pubic hair.

Intricacy abounds,
In this velvety corset,
Of doom.

The horse did bolt,
From the gated,
Field of drama.
The devil,
Was its whore.
God was dead.

Wipe away the tears,
Punch yourself,
In the bellhole.
You stupid cunt!

This table:
So black in colour.
Racist!

I don’t give,
A monkey’s chuff,
If you have,
A headache!
Get in the cellar,
Hitler!

Amadeus Hitler.

Phil Mitchell.

Zanzibar,
Calls from afar,
In a Smart Car,
With Ron Vlaar,
As a passengar.

Pavement slabs,
Greet my face.
Like sandpaper,
On my foreskin.

Amadeus Hitler.

Finger nails!
Chocolate-smeared cheeks,
Looking sinisterly towards,
A hooker’s g-string.

Where in the world?
PC World.

CM Punk.
Farted twice,
On your nipples.
Then wiped his,
Bellend,
Across your,
Mum.

A pile of shit.
“Thumb it in,”
She cries.
Werthers Original.

Slip Digby went out,
To the pub,
Never to return.
The sheep giggled,
But it wasn’t funny.
Flipping silly billy!

Walking through a farm,
Grilled halloumi mysteries.

Fred—enough of your nonsense!
Nonce-sense.
Nonce.
Kiddie fiddler.
Stop touching,
Little boys’ bottoms.

Flippity-flappity-floppity,
Skidmarks.
Weeeeeeeeeeee…

Down the helter-skelter,
Like a piece of stilton.
Donkey punch to the,
Bollocks.

Bollock.

Spunky wank-sock,
Your mum’s a berk!
Grant Haygarth,
And spam.

Bollock!