Poeming is for life. And pretentious cunts! And weirdos. I'm a bit of everything…
Falling from heaven,
Like a wingless angel,
That cannot take flight,
With a massive cock!
The helicopter trick,
Isn’t working.
Oh, fuck!
On a more,
Sensible note,
Hitler wasn’t all bad.
I might have a wa—
Finished!
Empty balls.
Now what?
A poem.
I am a,
Poeming genius,
After all.
Stand and deliver.
Stan and Ann do liver.
Saddam Hussain.
Sad and insane.
Pretty much, yeah!
And now,
For your amusement,
Allow me to list,
A bunch of different,
Cheeses.
Gorgonzola;
Roule;
Red Leicester;
Primula Spreadable;
Feta;
Gouda;
Bell cheese;
Parmesan;
Monterrey Jack;
And, of course,
The king of cheeses,
Cheddar.
Rectal pubic hair.
Shag.
I drank liquefied,
Cyanide as a youth.
Nigel Bellcheese.
I miss the way,
My uncle touched my,
Bottom 😍
Blue Stilton.
Drip, drip, drip.
Dripping.
Lard.
The dew settles;
Brick façades,
Weep in unison.
Shirley!
The wife of the,
Tough guy.
Bitch-slap that whore!
Kick her in the,
Cunt!
Lard?
Smelly socks,
Skiddy undies,
And crusty spaff,
In your gusset.
Undercarriage.
Lard.
Asinine.
That’s a big word.
Turd.
Blurred.
John Heard.
He’s dead,
But that’s not funny.
Haha.
Jap’s eye,
With sand.
You bruised my,
Front bottom,
With your chin.
Ombudsman.
Another big word.
How many more,
Shall I blurt?
Shirt.
Flirt.
John Hurt.
He’s dead too.
*Snickers*
Dropkick.
Wingle-wongle-wangle.
John.
Vosene,
Down your urethra.
In Shap,
How do they,
Drink Coke?
Disparity reigns.
Trembling fingers,
Curl around the Mars bar.
Wilson Phillips.
Climbing the sturrs,
In Oldham.
Rhechan fel ci defaid,
ar jaen gwta.
Cachau bant!
Minge.
Leave me alone!
Pugh, Pugh,
Barney, McGrew,
Cuthbert, Dibble,
Grobbelaar.
Weasels! Weasels!
Ferrets and weasels!
And a stoat,
Just cos!
Wanker!
Hairy legs,
And a piece of shit.
Rub your slit,
Just a little bit.
Limp biscuit,
Rich tea.
Twat in the hat,
Rebel treble.
Pat Butcher.
Pat Roach.
Noriyuki ‘Pat’ Morita.
Pat Sharpe.
The guy who,
Puts the fun,
Into Fun House.
Mullet.
Cowpat!
Drawn out silence;
A deep breath;
Clive let’s her rip:
The dirtiest,
Loudest fart,
You ever did hear.
Unfortunately,
For Clive,
he sharted.
Squelchy shit,
Now lined his Y-fronts.
Serves you right, Clive.
Clever dick!
Close the window!
You’re lettin’ all the stank out!
A beautiful, bright beacon,
Venus shines brightly.
The goddess,
Who’s name she acquired,
Weeps tears of joy…
Then proceeds to eat,
Non-halal meat.
Fucks given:
One.
In your dad’s arsehole!
Ha!
Baghdad.
Cherry tree in bloom.
Where once fell,
A pubic hair.
Intricacy abounds,
In this velvety corset,
Of doom.
The horse did bolt,
From the gated,
Field of drama.
The devil,
Was its whore.
God was dead.
Wipe away the tears,
Punch yourself,
In the bellhole.
You stupid cunt!
This table:
So black in colour.
Racist!
I don’t give,
A monkey’s chuff,
If you have,
A headache!
Get in the cellar,
Hitler!
Amadeus Hitler.
Phil Mitchell.
Zanzibar,
Calls from afar,
In a Smart Car,
With Ron Vlaar,
As a passengar.
Pavement slabs,
Greet my face.
Like sandpaper,
On my foreskin.
Amadeus Hitler.
Finger nails!
Chocolate-smeared cheeks,
Looking sinisterly towards,
A hooker’s g-string.
Where in the world?
PC World.
CM Punk.
Farted twice,
On your nipples.
Then wiped his,
Bellend,
Across your,
Mum.
A pile of shit.
“Thumb it in,”
She cries.
Werthers Original.
Slip Digby went out,
To the pub,
Never to return.
The sheep giggled,
But it wasn’t funny.
Flipping silly billy!
Edwin Saxton–The Poeming Genius 