Virgin Heart—Stooping to Collect Dingleberries

Panda bear; panda bear;
What on earth dost thou doest there?
Panda bear; panda bear;
Tis not thou black eyes at which I stare.
Panda bear; panda bear;
Pray tell why for not thou care.
Panda bear; panda bear;
Tis queer to thy that thou doth rape a pear!

The pear, the pear,
The pear is on fire!
We don’t need no apples;
Let that motherfucker burn,
Burn, burn, motherfucker burn!

Timmy Chattersworth,
Gave it a ruddy good go.
What he hadn’t factored in,
However,
Was the presence,
Of little Tommy Two-Shits.

We all know,
How it goes.
Join in at home.
And a one,
And a two,
And a three, four, twelve…

Little Tommy Two-Shits;
He’s better than you.
If you’ve been for one shit,
He’s been for two.

Wander the arid deserts,
Of your warped little mind.
Sure, I said it,
But you’re reading it.
Who’s the real weirdo?