The Second Amendment—Underpant Elastic

Couldn’t see the wood,
For the cuntflaps.

Widdle, widdle, wee-wee;
Outer Hebrides.
Smirky McLurky,
Is wanking again.

Had enough broth,
To last us an epoch,
But still you brought more.
Get the hint, Deborah,
You stupid skank.

In your cuntflaps,
Lives a titmouse,
That reeks of fish.

You need to fuck off mate.
You look like a crackhead.
You’ll scare the cat.
Your granny’s cuntflaps.

The Great Unwashed,
A hovercraft,
In Pembrokeshire.

It’s time for the wipedown.
Tune me in;
Chew me out;
Rub me off—cuntflaps.

Not today, Adolf.
And Moses.
Moses Hitler.
Muhammad Hitler.
Allahu Akbar!

Just Champion—Varietus Maximus

I beseech thee:
Open doors,
And open legs.
Reeks o’ dead sheep,
Up in this bitch.

A top hat,
For Top Cat;
A cow pat,
At the laundromat.

Spunk inside her cunt,
Even though,
She said not to.
Who cares,
What she says?
Women aren’t important.


West of Bald Knob,
And Gobblers Knob,
Dick Scratcher,
Laid a wreath,
In honour of,

Kevin Hitler.
Good old Kev Hitler.
And Dennis Mussolini.

Titillation in Beirut–Oxbow Lake Formations

If I eat,
A bacon sandwich,
Is it antisemitic?

To the man,
Who calls himself,
I hope you get,
Poked in the eye,
With a katana!

A proletarian view,
Wasted on the ideal,
Of first come,
First served.
Elastomer agrees.

Wheat and piss.
Hitler was great.
A lovely man.
Better than Jesus anyway.

Touch the arse.
Does it smell?
You wanker!
All I ever dreamed of,
Was holding a,
Dead puppy,
But it was alive.

Thesaurus Rex.
Bees are abuzz,
With fluffy wonder;
Drones drone,
All alone.
Onto the next,
I suppose.

Low Batterary–Fleas in Your Chips

Sally’s underwear.
Sounds ludicrous,

A Tale of Morons,
And Mongs,
In Addis Ababa.
Drink your sister’s,
Menstrual blood.

Soggy finger,
In the trifle.
Can I borrow,
Your sock?
And your daughter.
I need a nosh.


Daniel Xerxes Hitler.
Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.
Harry Hitler.
Herman Hitler.

You’re a knobhead,
And a faggot!
Where’s your mum?
She needs a good slap.
Might finger blast her,
As well.

Touch my willy.