Edwin Saxton–The Poeming Genius
Poeming is for life. And pretentious cunts! And weirdos. I'm a bit of everything…
Fuck it!
All of it!
It’s all bollocks!
Fuck you too!
Stop pretending,
You care,
Whether I live,
Or whether I die.
You don’t!
Tired of feeling invisible,
Worthless,
A non-entity.
I didn’t ask for this;
Life.
It was given to me,
Sans choice,
And I’m told,
I should appreciate it.
Appreciate my cock!
Clueless cunts!
It’s not fair,
That I have to,
Keep on existing,
Because I’m told,
I should.
I’m already dead,
It just hasn’t,
Been confirmed…
Yet.
Yet…
Hi,
Barry Scott here,
Asking if you have trouble,
With limescale,
Rust,
Ground-in dirt?
They’re a challenge,
For some,
household cleaners,
But not,
For Cillit Bang!
Rusty Shackleford.
A pair of knickers,
Fought for liberation,
In the south of France.
Sacrebleu!
Yes sir;
No sir;
Three bags full sir.
Two girls,
One cup.
I hate myself,
And I want to die.
Shop talk,
Got boring,
For Wilf.
So, he shot his manager,
In the kneecap.
Bang!
And the dirt is gone!
ChuckleVision,
Chuckle, ChuckleVision;
ChuckleVision,
Chuckle, ChuckleVision.
Duh-duh (Dah!),
Duh-duh (Da-da-dah!),
Duh-duh (Dah!),
Duh-duh (Da-da-da-dah!),
Duh-duh (Dah!),
Duh-duh,
Da-da-da, dah-da-dah-da-dah-da-dah-da…
Chuckle, ChuckleVision,
ChuckleVision,
Chuckle, ChuckleVision…
Dah! Dah!
Falling from heaven,
Like a wingless angel,
That cannot take flight,
With a massive cock!
The helicopter trick,
Isn’t working.
Oh, fuck!
On a more,
Sensible note,
Hitler wasn’t all bad.
I might have a wa—
Finished!
Empty balls.
Now what?
A poem.
I am a,
Poeming genius,
After all.
Stand and deliver.
Stan and Ann do liver.
Saddam Hussain.
Sad and insane.
Pretty much, yeah!
And now,
For your amusement,
Allow me to list,
A bunch of different,
Cheeses.
Gorgonzola;
Roule;
Red Leicester;
Primula Spreadable;
Feta;
Gouda;
Bell cheese;
Parmesan;
Monterrey Jack;
And, of course,
The king of cheeses,
Cheddar.
Rectal pubic hair.
Shag.
I drank liquefied,
Cyanide as a youth.
Nigel Bellcheese.
I miss the way,
My uncle touched my,
Bottom 😍
Blue Stilton.
Drip, drip, drip.
Dripping.
Lard.
The dew settles;
Brick façades,
Weep in unison.
Shirley!
The wife of the,
Tough guy.
Bitch-slap that whore!
Kick her in the,
Cunt!
Lard?
Smelly socks,
Skiddy undies,
And crusty spaff,
In your gusset.
Undercarriage.
Lard.
Asinine.
That’s a big word.
Turd.
Blurred.
John Heard.
He’s dead,
But that’s not funny.
Haha.
Jap’s eye,
With sand.
You bruised my,
Front bottom,
With your chin.
Ombudsman.
Another big word.
How many more,
Shall I blurt?
Shirt.
Flirt.
John Hurt.
He’s dead too.
*Snickers*
Dropkick.
Wingle-wongle-wangle.
John.
Vosene,
Down your urethra.
In Shap,
How do they,
Drink Coke?
Disparity reigns.
Trembling fingers,
Curl around the Mars bar.
Wilson Phillips.
Climbing the sturrs,
In Oldham.
Rhechan fel ci defaid,
ar jaen gwta.
Cachau bant!
Minge.
Leave me alone!
Pugh, Pugh,
Barney, McGrew,
Cuthbert, Dibble,
Grobbelaar.
Weasels! Weasels!
Ferrets and weasels!
And a stoat,
Just cos!
Wanker!
Hairy legs,
And a piece of shit.
Rub your slit,
Just a little bit.
Limp biscuit,
Rich tea.
Twat in the hat,
Rebel treble.
Pat Butcher.
Pat Roach.
Noriyuki ‘Pat’ Morita.
Pat Sharpe.
The guy who,
Puts the fun,
Into Fun House.
Mullet.
Cowpat!
Drawn out silence;
A deep breath;
Clive let’s her rip:
The dirtiest,
Loudest fart,
You ever did hear.
Unfortunately,
For Clive,
he sharted.
Squelchy shit,
Now lined his Y-fronts.
Serves you right, Clive.
Clever dick!
Close the window!
You’re lettin’ all the stank out!
A beautiful, bright beacon,
Venus shines brightly.
The goddess,
Who’s name she acquired,
Weeps tears of joy…
Then proceeds to eat,
Non-halal meat.
Fucks given:
One.
In your dad’s arsehole!
Ha!
Edwin Saxton–The Poeming Genius 